Category: Let's talk
okay, I've had this feeling off and on for as long as I can remember. It's the feeling of being one demension off from life, that life and the world are behind a glass pannel sort of feeling. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Then there's trying to explain the effect of sound to sighted people. They nod and say uh huh like they understand but somehow it seems like they're not getting it. Can this feeling be conquered? I'm not sure I'm explaining this right it's the seedling of an idea. Tiffany
I remember one time I was so drunk that I felt like I was swimming in a pool of butter. Well, I must have blacked out and when I woke up my throat was soar like I was shouting. The brain plays funny tricks on us whether we drank, ate what we shouldn't, or just sat around. The human brain has always been an interest of mine. As far as sound, well, you try to explain it but it's like pulling teeth.
Oops, was this topic only for women? It says blind girl physics so...aah now you got me all confused! haha but seriously I understand...sort of.
The first feeling you describe, is it emotional thing, like a sense of unreality caused by being blind which makes you feel separate from the world? Because I can definitely say that I've felt that. Like sometimes I'll be walking down the street and I'm like wow am I really part of the sighted world? They all seem to be in such a hurry and have their own agendas, and mine is so far from theirs. It's interesting and sometimes disconcerting.
Hmm never thought of it as a blind or sighted thing, maybe it'll go away. When I was a little kid I used to wonder if I really existed, if I would simply wake up from my current reality like a bad dream and be in some other universe.
As a teen sometimes I had a difficult time remembering whether something was a dream or not: you think about what you're gonna do before bed, then you dream you did it (go shopping, go run an errand or whatever), wake up, and think you did. I actually dreamed I killed someone when I was about 18 and lived half a day appalled at myself till I figured it out. Be grateful for rationality, it can ultimately conquer. I'm not a shrink but I'd guess over time you'll grow out of it, experience more than one kind of life and things just don't recur like that anymore. Maybe one of them things gets better when you're older?
You're not alone Tiffany. I get a feeling of detachment alot when I'm in public or walking along and noticing all that goes on around me is like so removed. I always have a feeling of being on another plane of existence or another dimension with some sort of barrier between me and the sighted world now. It can be very surreal. I was once fully sighted so I always thought it was my feeling of being different than I was but it seems maybe alot of us feel this way whether we're born blind or acquired. And I agree that sighted people just never get the affect that sound has on us who are blind. Interesting for sure.
I used to feel like that when I was a bit younger and insecure, but not anymore.
I really don't feel much different unless I really stop to think about it. I mean, we live in the world, whether we're blind or sighted, it's the same world. As far as sound is concerned, the only thing I find interesting is how so many sighted people think we blind people have ultra sensitive hearing. I mean, yes, we do tend to focus on it more with out lack of sight, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's better.
And, call me the mean old man for saying this, people ask you less the older you get. Mostly because you have kids, jobs, stuff you're doing, and you'll get really good at just deflecting / redirecting the convo to what everyone else is interested not the one who's caught on the blind or sight thing, and yes increasingly so, we are a global world not just blind, sighted, black, white or whatever.
Yes Tiffany, I can understand. I don't think it's a blind/sighted thing because it's more than the loneliness/anxiety/depression we all face as disabled people. It's almost an otherworldly feeling. I almost get the feeling that I'm not where I'm suposed to be, a feeling like I "landed" here. Lol. This is sounding crazier and crazier. Maybe it's an old-soul kinda thing; my son has it, I can just tell by some of what he says and he's only two... Anyway, Tiff, we need to talk.:) I get ya. I think.